Cheers to our success!

Searching for my beautiful reward


Ana. 21. New York.





crusherccme:

found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom

crusherccme:

found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom



"

We were grabbing a bite of lunch at a small cafe, in a mall, right across from a booth that sold jewelry and where ears could be pierced for a fee. A mother approaches with a little girl of six or seven years old. The little girl is clearly stating that she doesn’t want her ears pierced, that’s she’s afraid of how much it will hurt, that she doesn’t like earrings much in the first place. Her protests, her clear ‘no’ is simply not heard. The mother and two other women, who work the booth, begin chatting and trying to engage the little girl in picking out a pair of earrings. She has to wear a particular kind when the piercing is first done but she could pick out a fun pair for later.

"I don’t want my ears pierced."

"I don’t want any earrings."

The three adults glance at each other conspiratorially and now the pressure really begins. She will look so nice, all the other girls she knows wear earrings, the pain isn’t bad.

She, the child, sees what’s coming and starts crying. As the adults up the volume so does she, she’s crying and emitting a low wail at the same time. “I DON’T WANT MY EARS PIERCED.”

Her mother leans down and speaks to her, quietly but strongly, the only words we could hear were ‘… embarrassing me.’

We heard, then, two small screams, when the ears were pierced.

Little children learn early and often that ‘no doesn’t mean no.’

Little children learn early that no one will stand with them, even the two old men looking horrified at the events from the cafeteria.

Little girls learn early and often that their will is not their own.

No means no, yeah, right.

Most often, for kids and others without power, ”no means force.”

" —-

from "No Means Force" at Dave Hingsburger’s blog.

This is important. It doesn’t just apply to little girls and other children, though it often begins there.

For the marginalized, our “no’s” are discounted as frivolous protests, rebelliousness, or anger issues, or we don’t know what we’re talking about, or we don’t understand what’s happening.

When “no means force” we become afraid to say no.

(via k-pagination)


2 months ago84,946 notes©

"Heteronormativity isn’t just about the presumption that everyone is heterosexual. The expectation that boys woo girls feeds into your mind the expectation that relationships are necessary for fulfilment, and you are less than if you are not having particular kinds of sex with a particular, and a particular kind of, person at particular intervals. It’s about what Lauren Berlant calls the love plot, in which love is produced as a generic text enabling society to interpret your life as following certain conventions. It’s not about what you want, it’s about what you’re supposed to want. You’re not encouraged to think about what you want in relationships, if anything, so much as you are encouraged to fit a script. Heteronormativity messes things up for everyone, straight people included." —-

Tossing the script of desire | Zero at the Bone (via brute-reason)

Have I already reblogged this? Don’t know don’t care.

(via queercore)

this is everything

(via bustysaintclair)


2 months ago18,500 notes©

psychoshango:

you ever notice how in women’s razor commercials the models’ legs are already completely hairless before they “shave” them

like we can’t even handle showing body hair in a commercial about how to get rid of body hair


2 months ago180,792 notes©

tokomon:

this is a pretty good explanation for people who don’t know what’s going on.


2 months ago2,671 notes©

youngblackandvegan:

the sooner you realize that the criminal justice system is about maintaining order (racial/economic/social order), not about maintaining justice

the more the way this country works will make sense to you


2 months ago26,337 notes©

sizvideos:

Watch it in video

Follow our Tumblr


2 months ago643,136 notes©

"I was taught that if he didn’t talk to me first, I shouldn’t talk to him at all, even if I wanted to. They told I’d seem needy, or desperate, or too into him. So I’d wait hours, and days, and weeks until seeing his number on my phone. Even when I thought about him every day. Because I was taught it’s what he wants that matters, not the other way around." —- Isn’t that something? (via apoetslifeforme)


3 months ago889 notes©

5centsapound:

Carrie Mae Weems: The Kitchen Table Series (1990)


3 months ago13,305 notes©

"You guys know about vampires? … You know, vampires have no reflections in a mirror? There’s this idea that monsters don’t have reflections in a mirror. And what I’ve always thought isn’t that monsters don’t have reflections in a mirror. It’s that if you want to make a human being into a monster, deny them, at the cultural level, any reflection of themselves. And growing up, I felt like a monster in some ways. I didn’t see myself reflected at all." —- Junot Díaz on race and representation in media (via medievalpoc)


3 months ago17,866 notes©

"A woman is not written in braille, you don’t have to touch her to know her." —-

Unknown

I will reblog this every single time

(via hogwartsastory)

This is so fucking awesome

(via dreckshure)


3 months ago671,386 notes©

"Saying I’m a nice guy is like a motel advertising colour tv and air conditioning. “I have nothing to offer beyond a minimum level of acceptability”. It is the most flacid and impotent way a man can describe himself" —- Josh Fletcher (via miss-revolt)


4 months ago244 notes©

"There’s a popular meme that says feminists call differential treatment chivalry when we like it and sexism when we don’t. This is false. The supposed “perks” of being a lady are largely the result of “benevolent sexism,” a set of behaviors shown to be harmful to both women and social activism specifically because people often fail to see them for what they really are: practices steeped in restrictive stereotypes of masculinity and femininity that hinder gender equality by keeping men in a position of dominance over women. This is not to say people should treat each other poorly because chivalry and civility are not the same thing. Being decent to someone because you’re a conscientious human being is different from being decent to someone because that someone is a delicate, helpless lady." —- The 8 Biggest Lies Men’s Rights Activists Spread About Women - PolicyMic (via brutereason)


4 months ago639 notes©

Anonymous said: Why is the "independent Black woman" considered a racist trope?

wocinsolidarity:

because it a part of a stereotype as old as the trans Atlantic slave trade. it’s a part of a popular construction of the black woman that portrays her as so strong that she is incapable of weakness, so independent that she doesn’t need help or support,and so thick-skinned that she is incapable of pain. it was used to justify the horrifying treatment of black women during slavery which went against the they way white womanhood was constructed in society (See Sojourner Truth’s “Ain’t I a Woman?”) .therefore these stereotypes were used to dehumanize  black women during slavery, and they continue to do so today.

why do you think people have so little sympathy for black single mothers or black women on welfare (who are perpetually seen as “gold-digging baby mamas and welfare queens)??? why do the tear of white women move American while the cries of black women go unheard?

the “mad and independent black woman who don’t need no man” trope may seem harmless and funny but its roots are quite insidious and have consequences in the ways we perceive black women

black women are as strong and vulnerable and lovable as any other woman on earth. she needs support and love and caring just like every other person on earth.

-attanya


4 months ago10,914 notes©

"

If they don’t reply to your texts — they’re not interested in you.

If they don’t call you — they’re not interested in you.

If they forget your birthday — they’re not interested in you.

If they’re hung up on their ex — they’re not interested in you.

If they’re obsessed with being single — they’re not interested in you.

If they don’t want to meet your friends — they’re not interested in you.

If they don’t want you to meet their friends — they’re not interested in you.

If they don’t ask questions about your life — they’re not interested in you.

If they don’t tell you things about their life — they’re not interested in you.

If they only speak to you when they want to have sex with you — they’re not interested in you.

If they only have sex with you when they’re drunk — they’re not interested in you.

If they say “should we just keep this between us?’ after you have sex with them — they’re not interested in you.

If they don’t have sex with you — they’re not interested in you.

If they can always find a psychobabble rationale about who “I am” or “you are” or “we are” as reason why you can’t be together — they’re not interested in you.

If they have said for more than six months that they would like to be with you “BUT” — they’re not interested in you.

And if you still need convincing — think of it this way. Think of what the real day-to-day of life is taken up by. Life is birthday parties at terrible pubs. Life is losing your credit card and the annual Melbourne Cup sweepstake in the office. Life is hen’s nights, bucks’ nights, sitting on the phone for three hours to get U2 tickets and not getting them, the apartment upstairs flooding your house, interval training, calorie counting, cancer scares, illegal mini cabs, Secret Santa, rail replacement buses and Dido albums. Dogs die, cars crash, bin liners break, contracts end, curtain rails collapse, trains get delayed, football teams lose. Divorce happens and so do earthquakes and so does An Audience With Michael Bublé. Landlords put rent up, phones get stolen and the supermarket often completely runs out of hummus.

Now, taking all of the above into account — you look me dead in the eye and tell me the truth. Do you really have enough spare energy to pursue someone who isn’t interested in you? Do you really want to waste any more time on top of all of that? No. Me neither. So give it up, my friend. It’s a loser’s game. Delete their number. Don’t go on any more dates with them. Stop lurking their Facebook page. Feels good, doesn’t it?

" —- Dolly Alderton  (via onlinebabe)


4 months ago105,206 notes©