Searching for my beautiful reward
Ana. 21. New York.
We were grabbing a bite of lunch at a small cafe, in a mall, right across from a booth that sold jewelry and where ears could be pierced for a fee. A mother approaches with a little girl of six or seven years old. The little girl is clearly stating that she doesn’t want her ears pierced, that’s she’s afraid of how much it will hurt, that she doesn’t like earrings much in the first place. Her protests, her clear ‘no’ is simply not heard. The mother and two other women, who work the booth, begin chatting and trying to engage the little girl in picking out a pair of earrings. She has to wear a particular kind when the piercing is first done but she could pick out a fun pair for later.
"I don’t want my ears pierced."
"I don’t want any earrings."
The three adults glance at each other conspiratorially and now the pressure really begins. She will look so nice, all the other girls she knows wear earrings, the pain isn’t bad.
She, the child, sees what’s coming and starts crying. As the adults up the volume so does she, she’s crying and emitting a low wail at the same time. “I DON’T WANT MY EARS PIERCED.”
Her mother leans down and speaks to her, quietly but strongly, the only words we could hear were ‘… embarrassing me.’
We heard, then, two small screams, when the ears were pierced.
Little children learn early and often that ‘no doesn’t mean no.’
Little children learn early that no one will stand with them, even the two old men looking horrified at the events from the cafeteria.
Little girls learn early and often that their will is not their own.
No means no, yeah, right.
Most often, for kids and others without power, ”no means force.”" —-
from "No Means Force" at Dave Hingsburger’s blog.
This is important. It doesn’t just apply to little girls and other children, though it often begins there.
For the marginalized, our “no’s” are discounted as frivolous protests, rebelliousness, or anger issues, or we don’t know what we’re talking about, or we don’t understand what’s happening.
When “no means force” we become afraid to say no.
Have I already reblogged this? Don’t know don’t care.
this is everything
you ever notice how in women’s razor commercials the models’ legs are already completely hairless before they “shave” them
like we can’t even handle showing body hair in a commercial about how to get rid of body hair
this is a pretty good explanation for people who don’t know what’s going on.
the sooner you realize that the criminal justice system is about maintaining order (racial/economic/social order), not about maintaining justice
the more the way this country works will make sense to you
Considering that we live in a capitalist society, here’s what I want to happen next: I want these brands’ competitors to notice how wildly popular these stereotype-smashing commercials have been and then shamelessly copy their style. Maybe they can even up the ante—this is all about the competition, after all—and bring in additional marginalized communities to tell the world to quit messing with them, too. Maybe they can hire women to write, direct, and produce these ads, tipping the imbalance of the film industry, where men outnumber women five to one.
Then I want these companies to realize that they can never go back, that the reason this marketing strategy works is the same reason that reversion to stereotypical tropes won’t: we’re watching. And hypocrisy makes a hell of a brand loyalty killer." —- Is “Girl-Power” Advertising Doing Any Good? | Bitch Media (via becauseiamawoman)
I will reblog this every single time
This is so fucking awesome
Anonymous said: Why is the "independent Black woman" considered a racist trope?
because it a part of a stereotype as old as the trans Atlantic slave trade. it’s a part of a popular construction of the black woman that portrays her as so strong that she is incapable of weakness, so independent that she doesn’t need help or support,and so thick-skinned that she is incapable of pain. it was used to justify the horrifying treatment of black women during slavery which went against the they way white womanhood was constructed in society (See Sojourner Truth’s “Ain’t I a Woman?”) .therefore these stereotypes were used to dehumanize black women during slavery, and they continue to do so today.
why do you think people have so little sympathy for black single mothers or black women on welfare (who are perpetually seen as “gold-digging baby mamas and welfare queens)??? why do the tear of white women move American while the cries of black women go unheard?
the “mad and independent black woman who don’t need no man” trope may seem harmless and funny but its roots are quite insidious and have consequences in the ways we perceive black women
black women are as strong and vulnerable and lovable as any other woman on earth. she needs support and love and caring just like every other person on earth.